Antifragile

Human beings are not fragile. We are not made of glass, shattering at the first sign of adversity. Edward R. Murrow once wrote, "We are not descended from fearful men," and it’s a sentiment worth revisiting in today’s cultural landscape—a landscape where resilience is undervalued, and fragility is often celebrated.

As a retired U.S. Marine, combat veteran, and CEO of Warriors & Quiet Waters, I’ve seen adversity up close. I’ve led Marines through some of the most challenging environments imaginable, witnessing their courage and tenacity under fire. I have also seen the extraordinary strength of military families. I have watched them respond to the worst news imaginable – the death of their loved ones in combat – with dignity, grace, and a resolve to honor their sacrifice. Through my work with Warriors & Quiet Waters, I have worked with hundreds of combat veterans, witnessing firsthand their ability to build lives of strength, optimism, and purpose following their military service.

And yet, the narrative about post-9/11 combat veterans often frames trauma and adversity as insurmountable obstacles rather than catalysts for growth. Without fail, when a combat veteran is involved in a negative, newsworthy event, pundits and officials are quick to attribute it to a veteran irreparably broken by PTS. Several Warriors & Quiet Waters alumni have shared with me that their therapists counseled them they would need therapy and medication for the rest of their lives due to the trauma they’ve endured. This is a dangerous story to tell ourselves. It denies the inherent power within every human being to rise, to adapt, to grow stronger through struggle. It is not the narrative of a resilient species; it is the narrative of despair.

Humanity did not evolve to crumble under adversity. For 300,000 years, Homo sapiens have faced challenges that would seem insurmountable by modern standards. The harsh, unpredictable world of hunter-gatherers required not just resilience but adaptability—a quality that allowed us to survive and eventually thrive. If trauma destroyed us, we would have vanished long ago rather than becoming the apex species on earth.

Systems of Resilience and Antifragility

What, then, is resilience? Definitions abound, but at their core, they all emphasize adaptation. The Mayo Clinic describes it as "the ability to adapt to life’s misfortunes and setbacks." The American Psychological Association adds the qualifier "successfully." These definitions are instructive, but they don’t go far enough.

I propose that our goal is not merely to bounce back from adversity but to grow stronger because of it. This is antifragility – not just enduring hardship but leveraging it to become more formidable, more capable, more alive.

Antifragility, a concept introduced by Nassim Nicholas Taleb, describes systems that thrive under stress. Unlike fragile systems, which break, and robust systems, which endure, antifragile systems improve. This is the mindset we must adopt—as individuals, as families, and as a society.

Five Practices for Antifragility

1. Acknowledge Hard Truths and Confront Reality. Life is difficult. This is not a revolutionary statement, but it is worth emphasizing. The Marine Corps calls this mindset "embracing the suck." We cannot control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we respond. And that response determines whether we rise or fall.
2. Build and Nurture Your Tribe. Humans are social animals who evolved to thrive together. More than community, a strong tribe starts with a strong family and transcends friendship, achieving a sense of brotherhood and sisterhood with a circle of “3 a.m. friends” – those people that will come running to your aid no matter the hour or issue. These relationships reinforce a sense of security and provide emotional and psychological strength in the face of adversity.
3. Cultivate Pragmatic Optimism. Pragmatic optimism is a mindset that acknowledges reality – the hardships, the suffering, the obstacles – while simultaneously expecting progress through deliberate efforts. It’s a mindset that pursues the opportunities that can be found on the other side of adversity.
4. Anchor Yourself in Purpose. Friedrich Nietzsche famously observed, "He who has a why to live for can bear almost any how." Purpose transforms suffering into meaning. It gives us a reason to persevere, even when the road is hard. For many, this purpose involves service to others—a mission that transcends the self.
5. Seek Discomfort. Growth does not occur in comfort. Research shows that controlled exposure to physical and psychological stress strengthens us. Deliberate hardship – enduring hot and cold outdoor environments, embracing boredom, strenuous exercise, exposing ourselves to the things we fear – hardens us. By voluntarily seeking discomfort, we prepare ourselves to weather life’s inevitable storms.

A Cultural Shift

The culture of fragility must be challenged. Leaders have a responsibility to reject narratives that glorify victimhood and instead promote stories of resilience and growth. Veterans must reject the story the system has told them – that they are broken and victimized by their service – and instead embrace the ethos of service and strength that defined our time in uniform. That Warrior Ethos remains within us, waiting to be summoned.

Life is not, for most of us, an unending series of adversities. It is a complex, beautiful gift, full of challenges that shape us into stronger, wiser, more compassionate beings. The adversities I’ve faced have been blessings in disguise, teaching me lessons I now pass on to my family, my team, and those I serve. Those adversities have given my life deeper meaning and inspire me to use my time with purpose.

Archilochus, an ancient Greek poet and warrior, captured this ethos perfectly: "Be brave, my heart. Plant your feet and square your shoulders to the enemy. Meet him among the man-killing spears. Hold your ground. In victory, do not brag. In defeat, do not weep."

This is the call to antifragility: to face life’s battles with courage, to find purpose and meaning in the struggle, and to emerge stronger. Let us rise to this challenge, for ourselves and for the generations that will follow.

Make it matter.